If you had a moment last month where you felt down and out and like the whole world is conspired against you, just remember…
1.
The person who learned one of life’s most important lessons:
2.
The person whose grilled cheese is literally about to explode:
3.
The person whose sheets just got a sick new design:
4.
The person who will now be pioneering the “5,000-second rule”:
5.
The person whose cologne bottle exploded in a way heretofore unseen by human eyes:
6.
The person who Hulked their dang door straight off:
7.
The person whose makeup bag absolutely exploded:
8.
The person who paid handsomely for the world’s tiniest burrito:
9.
The person who gets the honor of playing a little “tickle, tickle” later in the flight:
10.
The person who will forever regret accelerating in that specific moment:
11.
The person whose chocolate chip cookies might be a tad overdone:
12.
The person who had quite literally the unthinkable happen to them and their poor toothbrush:
13.
The person who got themselves a nice sear:
14.
The person about to have a very white kitchen:
15.
The person whose landlord was kind enough to practice their amateur taxidermy on a kitchen counter:
16.
The person whose oven spontaneously combusted at the worst possible moment:
17.
The person who, like King Arthur himself, must now pull the sacred tuna from the sink:
18.
The person who was lucky enough to get a little extra protein in their bag of peas:
19.
The person who miiight have wanted to measure those stairs one last time before putting them in:
20.
The person whose Good Samaritan power lines saved the day:
21.
The person who found a little furry friend in their grapes:
22.
The person whose dog absolutely decimated their passport right before a trip:
23.
The inventor of a brand new bird poop latte:
24.
The person rockin’ the sick new Rachael Ray tat:
25.
The person who got the Tiny Tim special at the restaurant:
26.
The person who, much like J. Paul Getty, will never, ever leave oil alone again:
27.
The person whose chocolate egg became a pile of chocolate goop:
28.
The person who got a liiiiittle took excited when opening their gift envelope:
29.
The person whose book made SURE there wouldn’t be any spoilers for them:
30.
The person who is eatin’ good tonight:
31.
The person who apparently had a small-scale oil spill happen in their kitchen, the likes of which J. Paul Getty would certainly be interested in:
32.
The person who’s eatin’ good on their cross-continental flight:
33.
The person who is currently in the splash zone for 1.5 pounds of pure, unadulterated BBQ goodness:
34.
The person whose “DO NOT BEND” envelope got bent…oh, it got bent:
35.
The person whose luggage ended up arriving like it had SEEN some things:
36.
The person who tried to be the “full-size candy bar house” and ended up with nothing but disappointment:
37.
The person who accidentally cooked their cheesecake on the surface of the sun:
38.
The person whose hard-earned money went to some crisp, cool air:
39.
The person whose steak was cooked to unfathomable levels of doneness:
40.
The person who broke their car in ways previously thought impossible:
41.
The person whose cookies are lookin’ absolutely, positively scrumptious:
42.
The person whose neighbor pulled this wildly perplexing yet frustrating move:
43.
This person who is about to have a very cronchy lunch:
44.
The person with a computer that is now part soup:
45.
The person who got off the bus and stepped straight into Hades itself:
46.
The person whose dang teeth were fallin’ out in the early hours of Thanksgiving dinner:
47.
The person whose cats seriously have it out for delicious pie:
48.
The person whose thumb tattoo seems to be drawn on with street chalk:
49.
The person whose dream of becoming an MLB middle reliever died that day:
50.
The person who learned the hard way that you should never wash a pillow in the washing machine like this:
51.
The other person who learned one of life’s most important lessons the hard way:
53.
The person whose turkey miiiiiiight just be a little overcooked:
54.
The person who surely has the goopiest kayak around:
55.
The person who will forever be sitting in a lake of Diet Dr. Pepper:
56.
The person who added a brand-new ingredient to their makeup:
57.
The person who is about to play the worst game of bobbing for apples that has ever been played:
58.
The person who experienced one of the worst laundry disasters one can experience:
59.
The person who loves their child very much, I’m sure:
60.
And the person faced with Schrödinger’s Shrek plate:
