• Straight away reinstates Trump’s account. At very first, Trump suggests he does not want to be on Twitter, but in the end can not resist the notice he will get from tweeting, “I’M BACK…”
• Musk renames spambots “NPCs,” requires no further motion, announces there are no for a longer time spambots on Twitter
• Makes a joke that he will offer weed for each individual Twitter person on 4/20 — the CEO of a sketchy hashish firm shames him into “really doing it,” but the initiative gets shut down by the Feds prior to any individual gets their offer
• Personally hires a 30-person group to supply and make “dank memes” for his particular Twitter account, then fires them a week later on when they really don’t get as considerably engagement as his insult tweets
• Announces that by 2024, all content material moderation will be carried out by an AI properly trained to be ideologically neutral, with no human intervention
• Then announces that an AI will realize success him as CEO of Twitter by 2027 or when the AI surpasses his individual intelligence. Vows that Twitter’s AI CEO will be smarter than Google’s AI CEO.
• Moves all Tesla purchaser support to Twitter and fires teams accountable for any problems uncovered publicly from the public guidance threads
• Kanye West is appointed chief imaginative advisor to make the total platform “doper”
• Tesla begins supporting “tweeting when driving mode” with arms-free of charge driving — the ensuing visitors fatalities are tragic but statistically significantly less recurrent than the accident fee of other motor vehicle manufacturers
• Quote RTs persons insulting him with the words and phrases “free speech” to verify he definitely values free of charge speech and undermine individuals complaining about harassment mainly because he gets harassed a lot more than any one. A cottage business will emerge of folks performing dumb, outrageous tweets critiquing Musk who are making an attempt to get the “Elon bump.”
• The solution crew is directed to make “sexier profiles” for consumers who comply with just 69 accounts
• Reinstates Marjorie Taylor Greene, but re-bans her two days later when she tweets the area of Musk’s new dwelling
